BEING THE PRIZE

My retreat was a success on many levels. I exercised well, I relaxed well, I ate well, I drank well (fantastic brewery in Sedona). I did not spend as many hours in front of a pad of paper or my computer as I originally anticipated, but it was time well spent. I cleared my mind and came away with a sense of peace that my life is free for me to do with it what I will.
I used to go to skate parks when I was a kid and I had so much fun. Sedona has a great skate park and while I hadn’t been skating in almost 10 years I decided to go. I was surprised at how much muscle memory I had. The tricks came relatively easy to me and I’m sure the old man with the beard was an interesting novelty for the younger children. (I’m not even 26 yet, but old in comparison)

I am thinking about moving to Sedona for about 6 months. My logic is that I am working on building systems to allow my company to operate effectively without any interference. If I were to die tomorrow I would like my business to continue on as if I was not even there. Right now, it would most certainly crumble in a matter of months, or at least limp along for a few years. If I’m going to build a business that is not dependent on any one person, I need to remove myself in order to truly test its viability.

I am going to build systems and operations into place that create a company that grows seamlessly and organically as a unit. I have to build a culture and a foundation for that culture to grow on. I will most definitely cause more problems than I would help by staying too active in the business. If I’m the super star the business can only be as bright as I am on my own. If I build a company comprised of fireflies and use my systems to magnify their presence and efficiency, I’ll build a company brighter than the sun.

I’m going to build it and then let it run like a little experiment to see where the flaws instead of hiding the flaws by constantly catching people’s mistakes. I’m going to fill the business like a bucket of water and then see where the holes are. I’ll let the team patch itself up and eliminate the people who are poking the holes in the success of the company.

By stepping away from the business I’ll be able to focus on who I would like to become. I’m torn so much because I’ve rarely taken the time to consider who I truly am and what I truly want. Six months alone in the woods will go a great way towards discovering who I am. I’ll work on any projects that I choose to (in addition to continually refining the Limousine company)

My main obstacle will be creating a culture that not only understands my absence but appreciates it as a part of the business culture. I will have to educate them on my past and demonstrate my work ethic as well as the concept of systems and the entrepreneurial structure.

I’m in Sedona right now. I drove up late last night. The air was perfect, the sky was crystal clear with specs of starts dotting every inch. My car was not so great. I borrowed my brothers car because mine was having trouble and then a few miles outside of phoenix I noticed this truck was acting strange. I think it’s something wrong with the transmission or the fuel injectors because I had no power every 15 minutes or so. Let’s just say coasting on dangerous roads at 15mph is not the safest thing. I checked the transmission fluid and that’s about all I could do.

Anyway I made it and I’m glad that I’m here. Waking up to birds chirping and views to mountain tops definitely has some appeal. I will definitely live outside the city for the second portion of my life. I’d like to save enough money to buys some land out of country in the five to ten years. I see the real estate market going to horrible world wide. I’d like to take advantage of some affordable property in Chille and my ideal would be some type of Island in Brazil as well. I saw them advertised for $2-3mill U.S. about four years ago. I guarantee the markets will soften to return prices to that point.

I’ll have to have a net worth of about $10-15 million to justify that especially since I think credit will tighten heavily and prevent a reasonable interest rate.

Today is the start of my multi-million dollar retreat. I’m the only one in attendance and I’m the only instructor. I’m here to create a master plan for growing my knowledge, love, and energy into millions of passive dollars. I’m starting with the transportation business and I want to gross 1million dollars in the next 12 months. I am developing my plan around one idea. Create a culture that attracts the best team members, customers, and partners and has them feeling that this is the best company they have ever been apart of in their entire life. I’m building my business around the people and creating systems that remind me that systems fail not people.

I’m going into my retreat with an open mind and I will hopefully walk away with some innovative and specific methods of operating my business that indulge peoples sense of community and comradery to create an unstoppable money making machine that can be easily replicated at ease.

I will update the blog daily as I am supposed to (as long as the internet access that I’m “borrowing” stays active)

Often times when we don’t know what to do we decide to push against walls. It feels like we are working hard (and we are). But what is it getting us? It’s getting us nowhere obviously. I am restructuring my business and I find myself pushing against walls the past two days. Today I decided to stop and I’m going to take a 2 day retreat to sort things out.

I will come back with the vision of the company and the specifics that it will take to create that vision. I have the emotion and the steps and the ideas inside my head, but I need to translate them onto paper and share them with the people that will be part of this next stage of my business development.

I bought $300 worth of domain names the other day and I’m working on commissioning a website template that will allow me or anyone else to rapidly deploy a new site within only a few hours. I am taking systems to a new level in my business and burning them into the culture and landscape of my company.

I will either franchise my company or expand it to other markets using my systems and the mantra “People don’t fail, systems fail.” I am devoted to the idea of systems as a means for freeing the self employed person from the confines of business and releasing them to the realm of the entreprenuer.

I will have a minimum of 3 fulltime staff members next year and I want to do $1 million in revenue in 12 months time. I will then re-evaluate and my secondary goal will be to convert the company into a 50% profit margin producing machine.

I will also patent, produce and sell a product that I’ve been thinking about for a few years. I will have it on QVC within 12 months time.

I will also be traveling once a month to different markets looking for a way to expand the magazine as a franchise format.

How will I do all of this, when before I had “no time?” I freed myself of being self employed when I realized that my partnership was not working. I will no longer be a work horse except when it calls for it. I will be the CEO and I will lead my companies in a way that allows individuals to produce more and me to work less. I will be the visionary and the implementation coach. I will be a leader and embrace the title of leader. I will harness the power that other people posses and create a culture of passion and discipline that rewards all for partaking in the success of the company.

I will come down from the mountains this weekend inspired with the light that Moses had in his eyes in the story of the ten comandments. I am going to be consumed with the vision of this new company and I will inspire others as the sense the coming of a new company. A company that will allow all members to say to everyone they know. “I’ve never been a part of something so incredible and I’m proud to be a member of this team”

This is why I have decided to stop pushing on walls and adjust my eyes to the light in order to find the door.

Is it really the case that we have “ups” and “downs” in life? I move forward and then hit what appear to be obstacles. There are so many things spinning around, it often feels like you just need a moment to get off of the amusement ride and catch your equilibrium. Take a moment to reflect and determine what reality is. I think that my lack of meditation (that I committed to) is a source of the imbalance. It’s hard to know where to walk when you don’t know where you are going.

I have given my business partner so many options and opportunities to walk away having a great opportunity at future success. His sphere of influence is causing him to make choices that have pushed me too far. I am not a punching bag and while I will not allow someone to “hit” me, I still grow tired of the punches being thrown.

Sometimes money means nothing and principle means everything. People need to know the limits to their powers and often in life people allow for a false sense of reality for the people around them. By submitting to the desires of aggressors you do yourself as well as them a disservice.

The people around you that should be helping you, often hinder you. When their bias towards you clouds their opinions they can lead you down a path that is harmful to you and your interests. If my partner would listen to his gut and his heart this situation would have been handled weeks ago. Instead he is fearful of himself and trusts the judgment of others over his own convictions. This has caused the current state, in which I have decided to stand firm at any price. There are things in life that mean much more than money and one must be willing to stand firm for their convictions. I have learned that tens of thousands of dollars are simply meaningless in a life that will produce millions and millions of dollars are meaningless in a life that will produce countless lessons and memories.

I’m teaching myself to trust a deeper intuition because I’ve learned that I can argue so many sides of an argument logically that I’ll spend all day in a mental court. Knowing what feels right is not always easy, but when you find it you know your answer and you must stick with that answer even if others question your decision.

It’s funny how your path in life is often guided by outsiders who give directions to places they have never traveled before. People who want “what’s best for  you” but very often achieve the opposite. Who are we to dictate another person’s life?

We can give our unique experiences to one another for piece of mind, but we should preface it with the knowledge that it is ultimately their choice as to what they should do. We often guide people out of selfishness. We often lead them down a path that limits their greatness out of feat that it will somehow inhibit our own greatness if they succeed. The scarcity of success and money, the love of family and friends, the righteous attitude of the “enlightened” often lead us down paths that ultimately leave of thirsty.

Responsibility rests with the traveler. We must choose to find the path the feels right and do our best to filter out the misguided directions that many bystanders will give out with a smile. We have to have the courage to make a choice and live with that choice, free of blame, guilt or “what might have been’s.”

A powerful distinction is the idea of Choice v.s. Decision. A Decision is something that requires you give something up in order to receive the something you desire. The power of Choice is in it’s ability to accept what you want as it is and know that you never truly lose something. You never have to give something up, because you are always gaining something threw your choice.

A divorce does not have to be a decision. If you realize that you are gaining much in the form of freedom and happiness and success for all involved, the money and time you “lost” was never truly lost. You gained experience and memories and countless other things. You never have to make a decision in life as long as you remember that life is full of powerful abundant qualities that will spring forth for those who are open and willing to realize their existence.

I’m excited to start my life with a new perspective and sense of freedom. I’m excited to unlock the life that I “decided” had to be full of work and struggle in order to achieve success. I’ve chosen to live life by my rules and open myself up to the abundance of money, love, energy and success that is waiting for anyone to grasp hold of.

I’ve chosen my path and I am confident enough to ignore those who have no idea where I’ve come from and no idea where I’m going. I don’t need directions because no one has gone down this path before. I’m making my own map and my own trail and it would be absurd to expect someone to lead me somewhere that has yet to be.

I think it’s important that you fully understand my perspective. I’ve verbalized it to you on many occasions, but I’m not sure that I’ve expressed it clearly enough because a lot of the things in this proposal are kind of insulting to me. I understand business is business in a lot of people’s minds, but I wanted to be able to walk away from this with the magazine being successful and us not hating one another.

I want to avoid playing hard ball because it’s so much easier for me to just dissolve the business and have the magazine go down and then restart it under a new name. Andrew Waite already offered to start a magazine with the same concept under a new title and he would fund the whole thing if I would run it. I have a loyalty to our publication that goes beyond business. If it were about money I would tell you we are dissolving the magazine pay my part of the debt and it would cost me an insignificant amount of money. Then I would start a new title the next day and I would be up and running in no time because I have all the intellectual capital to make this work. Is that right? I’ll tell you that most people say that it’s smart. There is nothing illegal about it and I would end up making a hell of a lot more money than I even asked of you.

I don’t think that is fair to the Magazine, you or Courtney. I am about doing what makes you happy in life and I love this magazine. I think long term and I don’t measure results in a moment. I see potential and I know what I have to do in order to make something happen. This magazine was never meant to be an over night success and it couldn’t be. There were too many brokers and too many skeptics to make it happen right away. The real estate market had to soften to open up the minds of the arrogant brokers raking in money without lifting a finger. I’ve worked countless 100+ hr work weeks and threw my primary business to the wayside. It finally got to me that we can never be business partners because we view life through two different lenses. When I allowed myself to accept that I knew I had to buy you out, or let you buy me out in order to save the magazine.

I respect what you do, but think that our personalities are very different (actually we are probably polar opposites) This is great if we complement one another but we don’t and that’s ok, just not ok for business. I know you agree with this. I have been the one to develop this business model and determine what works and what doesn’t work and the whole time having to fight one another to accomplish anything.

I never once received a dollar in payment (and either did you), the obvious difference is that the amount of hours I put in and the countless hats I had to wear at at one once deserved some compensation. All I asked for was to work out a compensation that would be fair in order for you to keep the business and give you the chance to gain back your money, while I walk away from any chance of gaining my money back. I even offered to buy the business from you and you said no. So instead of doing what’s best for me and dissolving the business, teaming up with an already successful publisher who will fund me fully, I still want to create a Win-Win situation for you. I want to you to ask yourself if you would do this or any of your other business partners would do this? I’m not saying I’m special, but I want to you realize the gravity of what I’m doing here and why it’s frustrating to have people tell you that I’m not worth paying.

I’ve never been more tested in my life. This decision has been the hardest one of my life and I’m turning down easy money for my principles and my morals. I deserve so much more than I’m even asking for and then I’m challenged about this compensation and the fact that I even deserve the money owed to me. I’m even willing to go to meetings where supposedly “impartial” people give you personal advice. It’s frustrating and it’s taking everything I have to keep from killing this and taking the money that Andrew is offering me. I have worked for free and even sold an Ad the other day, knowing full well that you would get the benefit of the sale. I want to work something out that is fair, but if we can’t I won’t fault myself for going down the path that was right.

This is a decision you have to make for yourself and all the outside advice is important but it can cloud your mind with their biased opinions. I have not looked to anyone for advice because I’m following my heart and doing what I feel like, now. No one has been there to see the business and the way we have interacted and what I have done. They have only heard stories and made up their own to create an outcome that they want.

I will send back my response to your proposal, but please ask yourself what I deserve for what I have contributed to the future success of the magazine and the way I have acted completely unselfishly for the past two years. I have never cheated on you in a personal or professional way. I have never stolen money, or defaced you in front of an employee, client, or friend. I’ve been a stand up business partner that has only been flawed by the fact that I have a different outlook than you when it comes to business.

I am confident that we can find a way to have everyone benefit and for you to make a lot of money using your talents as an entrepreneur to capitalize on the groundwork that I have laid.

Why have I not been writing consistently? I have not made it a priority. I have decided to write at the end of each night and thus if I get too tired I fail to write in the blog. So I have decided to write when I have down time to make sure that it gets done daily as I promised myself.

Summary of events from the past days that I failed to write.

I told my partner I was quitting because I was not happy being partners

We came to a relative agreement

He talked to people (parents) and decided he didn’t like the deal anymore

We met with a “consultant” who was so unprofessional that he gave biased opinions

We talked on the phone tonight and started working towards a deal again

There has been a lot of fighting in between but not as bad as it has been at times. I’m still working for the magazine to keep it going but I won’t work past tomorrow without a resolution. I’ve worked for free for way too long already.

I really have very little to write about. There are many things in my head at the moment but very little I feel compelled to express. It just wants to stay in place and do what ever it wants rather than be forced to come out onto paper (if even of the virtual sort)

Decisions are much more difficult than choices to use Landmark distinctions. I’m making this tougher than it has to be because I fear a loss on either end. Things are going well in the business we have a new sales rep that is fired up, magazines are moving. The only thing that is constant is my business partner.

We are not specifically fighting but I have the feeling that our personalities are always incompatible. If I don’t get out now, when will I. Happiness is priceless and all the money and fame and pride of product are worthless if you don’t have a sense of joy. I question myself and want to take responsibility for my portion of this unfortunate relationship.

I feel burnt and it seems irreparable with the current situation. I talked with someone the other day about buying my portion of the company but they don’t want to deal with my business partner either. They would buy it in a hart beat if I came with the company. I don’t want a boss and I don’t think my partner will let me buy them out.

There are three options

1)      I stay and stick it out hoping things will work out between us.

2)      Sell my part of the phoenix market and license my software back to the company

3)      Dissolve it all and work with another publisher on a “similar” title

I don’t want to keep spending money on a chance of happiness when I have a functioning profitable company to work with already. So 1 is gone.

I will work to create 2 as the most viable option but if this is refused then I will still come out on top with option 3. I am the company and I can ignite it in a fraction of the time.

I have to keep my integrity and avoid looking back at what could have been once I jump. There is no room for those looking in reverse. My heart is tied up into this magazine and I stopped treating it like a business a long time ago. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this creates problems. I have to decide that I don’t like working with jonathan and sure as heck don’t like working for him. This has never been a partnership and it’s taken me way to long to learn my lesson.

I am meeting today and today I will have an answer.

It’s obvious at this point that I’m not following through with my commitment to blog daily. I am recommitting for the reason that I find pleasure and value in expressing my thoughts for posterity. The internet is an incredible thing. Allowing me to store my thoughts for future reference and creating a way for me to remember the successes and mistakes that I have made.

To the point…

The term Carpe Diem is often used for motivation and it occurred to me last evening (as I was waking from a nap) that one should seize the nano-second. We often think about times in chunks as in years and months and weeks and days. The fact is that we have a life and every moment is a part of that life. I have found myself on many occasions “saving” my energy for this theoretical future thrust of energy. I have in essence been seizing a future day instead of being present in the moment and taking the immediate opportunity at hand.

When we hear of survivors making it through seemingly impossible situations, the common thread is that they take life on moment by moment. They crawl for 5 feet at a time and before they know it they’ve made in a mile. The reality is (at this point at least) that life is challenging and sometimes we feel as if we are unable to accomplish our goals for that particular moment. We put them off until we have enough “energy” If we were to apply this to a life threatening situation we would fall asleep and in all likelihood never wake up.

Ideally I would like to get to the point where life no longer feels like a struggle, but the reality is that enlightenment is a process and it often feels like a struggle. Being a realist is sometimes underrated by people in the self improvement field. Often people look to approach life in a mystical way and fail to combine reality and metaphysical possibility to create the best approach to life.

By telling myself that I will be the prize in that moment of weakness and accept the fact that I feel week I am creating a powerful chain of events. I am living in the moment and being present of my success in that instant. By focusing on the future we sometimes create windows that allow excuses to blow through as a comforting breeze. By letting immediate gratification overcome us we are giving up the chance to create positive momentum and increase our store of positive energy. The winning streaks in life are built in moments not in months or decades.

By focusing on the moment and the success in a moment we increase our awareness of our progress and increase our understanding of how little successes are the structures that allow for greater success to occur. We are rewarding ourselves instead of waiting around for some mystical change of events which will drastically alter our mood. This passive lifestyle is what depression is made from and the cycle that leads to consistent failure.

I will continue more with this tomorrow as I get into specifics of altering my thought process.

It’s often that I find myself struggling lately. I have it in my head that there is some magical way to life your life and that by doing these things. By being the prize it will magically start to unfold. It doesn’t always seem to happen that way. I don’t always know the answers that I’m in need of.

To be fair I’m not being as consistent as I need to be to accurately gauge the success of a specific technique or mentality.

I have been working upwards in stages. Exercising regularly, writing nightly and reading daily. I am eating healthy but sometimes lack the energy needed to be excited about the day.

I believe I’m holding back some of the very momentum I need to be successful. I’m keeping myself dormant to a large degree still. I’m not leaping out of my skin and invigorating myself with the joys of daily accomplishments. I’m still holding back mentally and it’s irritating but also like an addiction. I’m having trouble shaking it. I think part of me does not want to let go still. Every time I think I find a way out, part of me is back into the trap I set for myself.

Consistency will help me break through this. I’ll have to keep getting the rebound and putting the ball up again until it goes in. I need to build up my stamina and strengthen myself in many mental areas still. I am blowing in the wind still and I need to be much more flexible as well as more rigid. Bend when needed, but never break.

I have to be the prize instead of talk about the Prize.